I’ve got some bad news to share.
I’ve known about it for some time, but the symptoms continue
to grow more advanced and require me to come forward and be honest with all of
you. You see, I’m dying.
I don’t know how long I’ve got left, but it makes me even
more determined.
I want to make sure every day is lived with a purpose; I can’t stand to waste any time on things that don’t matter or arguing about theories and what-ifs. I want to spend the time I have making sure that my legacy will be a positive one, and not negative. I want to know that all those I love will be ok and taken care of when I’m gone. I want to leave behind a legacy that lets the world know what I stand for and what I lived for and for what I was willing to die, not just in my words, but in what I leave behind for future generations to follow. I want to know that I made a difference.
From the aches and pains in my joints, to the lack of firmness in my muscles to the color in my thinning hair, I know I am not intended to live on forever in this body. It is even effecting the relationships in my life as my defective body causes harm to others and my angry words offend them as I lash out in desperation for my condition. I can’t wish it away and no medicine can cure it. I simply try each day to suppress its effects.
The sickness I have is called sin. An insidious disease, it escapes no-one and it has no cure. It will end my life; when, I do not know. But it is certainly coming. I don’t know if I will be here tomorrow or whether I have another 30 or 50 years. But I am certain it is coming. I feel its effects worsen each day.
But I also know that relief is coming.
Some say death is the great liberator, but I say it is the
enemy. In fact, I do not look forward to
death, especially the pain which precedes it.
Rather, I look to the life that will be given me when Christ comes again
in his glory to raise the dead and to bring me home with all the saints who have
gone before. Christ is my relief and my reviver. He made his first promise to me at my baptism
and renews it each week through his Body and Blood in Holy Communion and I know
he will fulfill it one day when he returns in Glory.